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Heliotypic Wolfie disgraces, ex boyfriend dating someone else quotes his tenders jadedly. You know, there's a gas station in the city that's got this contest to win this awesome barbecue.
Some places give you a free car wash with every fill-up! What a time to be alive. How come you don't do stuff like that? Tell you what, Hank. Go to my house, fire up the barbecue, make yourself a hot dog. Go into the kitchen cupboards, grab any glass you want, you can keep it.
Get the garden hose, wash your truck. All that stuff for free, providing, you pay for this tank of gas, today. There's always a catch with you! One episode followed Hank, Wanda, and Karen as they competed to see who could keep their New Year's resolution the longest.
The winner was Lacey, who manipulated the other three into agreeing to a three-way tie, then revealed she hadn't broken her resolution, as revenge for them saying she was no good at scheming. When Lacey tries to discover the origin of the Dog River town name, she finds clues disappearing and witnesses being manipulated at every turn, Emma always a few steps ahead of her, until she discovers the Dark Secret: Lacey's own great-great-uncle had been drowning dogs in the river, and somehow the name stuck.
The conspiracy between Hank, Brent, Emma and Davis to paint "Grad '68" on the water tower and then cover up their involvement in this affair. This exchange from "World's Biggest Thing": Do these town meetings usually go on for this long? Hey, have you ever been to one? What are they like? You seem kinda crabby. In the season one episode "Oh, Baby", Brent babysits Wanda's son Tanner, who keeps throwing toy cars at his head.
Brent immediately says, "Is it something hard he can throw at my head? He asks Hank if he can borrow 20 bucks and Hank replies, "Is this like your official greeting now? It flashes forward to the ensuing Christmas, where Emma is about to hand everyone their gift. Lacey has to be called away from the floor In the pilot episode, the Howler writes a disparaging article about Lacey and Hank suggests that she get revenge by egging the newspaper office and also throwing a few watermelons because "they make a big splat".
In "Cable Excess," Hank confesses to Brent that he egged a cable van and Brent says, "What is it with you and egging things? In "Road Worthy", Oscar tells Wanda that he can't decide on a gift for Emma, to which she says, "Well, coming to the gas station was a great start. There's motor oil, antifreeze, two-liter bottles of pop Wanda trails off and quickly changes subjects.
Then at the cash register, the cashier notices that Emma's bracelet is identical to those at the impulse buy 99 cents bin.
Hank debates at length robots versus werewolves. When Oscar and Emma's wedding photos can't be found and they claim they were never married, then reveal they are married and had an Elvis-themed wedding, Brent — who had been called a bastard the entire episode and was angsting over the idea he might have born out of wedlock — points this out.
You could have just said "we lost the photos". Mind you that would have been less emotionally scarring. Unfortunately for him, eventually someone is able to make change, at which point everyone else he offered it to comes by to claim their share. Crazy Enough to Work: Many of the schemes tried by Brent Leroy and Hank Yarbo and a pretty significant chunk of the schemes everyone else in the main cast try fit into this trope.
Most of the time the plans fail miserably, but even when they work, the success just creates another problem they hadn't anticipated. Davis has the papers already drawn up to have Oscar committed, in case Emma ever needs them.
So he's literally Crazy Prepared. Hank's pants with pockets everywhere. He challenges everyone to name something he's not carrying, and systematically pulls them out of his pockets no matter how improbable the guesses become.
Also applies to the things Davis keeps in the trunk of his car. A one-off joke has Brent pull out things that three separate people need, right at the gas station counter, without even looking up from his comic book. The last was a specific set of several tools, which he happened to have sitting in one container! There's been at least one. Oscar and Emma's basement isn't particularly scary-looking as far as basements go, but after they watch a gruesome horror movie, they go through a phase of being too frightened to go down there.
The lawn gnome in "Picture Perfect" that resembles Oscar. The end of the episode reveals that it was one of a pair. The other one, of course, looks like Emma. One of the Howler's more visible faults; ie. When a tarot card reader refers to the 18th letter of the alphabet and Wanda immediately says, "R! Where's my F 'n' E? No, no, don't leave, I wasn't cursing! I was just talking about the Aw, sh— roll credits When a curse jar is set in Brent's gas station, Lacey lets out a long string of curses covered up by a nearby train's horn.
When the horn dies down, everyone stares at Lacey in disbelief who drops a twenty in the jar. In an effort to escape her Teacher's Pet status at a spin class taught by Hank, Karen takes out a bar of soap and writes on his windshield "MR.
Is that what you think I am?! Also used in The Movie: Son of a b— Daydream Believer: Davis believes that the events of Battlestar Galactica actually happened, and regularly meets with others who agree. Used frequently, most notably in the fourth-season finale, which plays out as if it's the final episode of the entire show, with characters moving away, character arcs being resolved, a Bittersweet Ending and the eponymous gas station being taken over by a megacorporation as Dog River goes from being a small town to a proper city While all the characters in the series get a share of this see also the page quoteWanda is the most frequent.
Brent names all of his baseball pitches with intimidating names like "Hammer of Thor", but since he's in a slow pitch league All your pitches are just big giant arcs! You should name 'em "Rainbow" or Emma is wonderful at this, going right back to the pilot episode. Oscar and Brent are having an argument and Emma silences them by narrowing her eyes menacingly and asking, "Do you want me to come over there?
The old stuff was blue! We used to sell blue, now we're selling red! You're such an idiot. In "Seeing Things", Emma calls Hank a "weaselly little weasel" and a "weaselling little weasel face" in the space of just a few seconds. Multiple times—in many cases, without the cut. I can't just turn over my father.
There's a bond between father and son that's strong and sacred. You left the lid on the Dumpster up last night! Crows have scattered garbage all over the place out there and I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean it. It'll be you out there on your hands and knees scrapin' up crow crap! I'll tell you whatever you need to know. With him, the customer was always number one. Oscar always treated people with great respect. Well, he's a people person. Two examples from "Block Party", with the cut this time: The point is, every town has a Main Street.
No one really cares if we change it. And so today, we dedicate the town's biggest street to Dog River's founder, Harold Main. Later in the episode, after Hank burns down a shed to maintain the accuracy of his Lego model of Dog River: It's just a shed.
No one's gonna miss it. Did Not Do the Bloody Research: Thanks for donating the footballs. Well, it's the least I could do for our soccer team; give them some soccer balls, to play soccer with.
The proper term is 'football'. It's good for the kids to hear some of the British terminology.
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So what's the British term for a person who uses stupid British terms? Given the entirely-innocent grin on Davis' face, he likely didn't realize how offensive the word was. Which was probably part of the joke. Did They or Didn't They? Hank and Karen on the fishing trip. She denies it, though in a way that most others don't believe her, while Hank doesn't like people being told it happened, but never outright denies sleeping with her Disaster Dominoes: As he's walking down the porch steps with it, he bumps into her birdbath and breaks it.
This causes the TV to fly out of his arms And this cycle only repeats itself. Hank decides to get Wanda a new birdbath. He leaves it outside the gas station, where Wanda promptly bumps into it while trying to carry her large telescope. The birdbath breaks and the telescope flies through Brent's car window. Birdbaths can cause widespread destruction if you're not careful! Played for laughs in "Face Off": I heard we almost lost Brent.
What do you mean? The Stonewood Saints asked him to play for their team. How would they like it if we went there and burnt down their rink? That genuinely seems like an appropriate response to you? When Wanda is rejected for a credit card after being told she was pre-approved, Hank attempts to console her.
I got one of those "pre-approved" letters in the mail too. And they rejected you too? No, they gave me a credit card. But other than that, same sad story. Karen didn't lose the Clavet Cup, she's just "unable to ascertain its whereabouts at this juncture". I'm just saying the coffee tastes terrible. Tastes like it's been filtered through a wig, that's all.
Davis complains that Lacey tricked him into helping her move: I didn't trick you. I arranged my sentence in a way that led you to believe something that wasn't true. Lacey explaining her rule about not using white-out on her menus: It's just something I made up and I'm sticking to, for no reason.
Also Lacey in later seasons. Wanda's attempt to install a new toilet for Oscar and Emma. Among other things, she shuts off all the water to the house without realizing it. When Lacey wins a charity auction to have Hank has her Handyman for a Day.